you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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