Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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