Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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