ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
