The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
