so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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