you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
