Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
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I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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