To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
