I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
