Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
