Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
