she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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