before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize