perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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