Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
