covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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