quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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