So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
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I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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