Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
