You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
