I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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