Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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