i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
