are you so shy because you have an std?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize