I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
