Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
