Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
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