its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
