Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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