is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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