It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize