Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
