I'm really into asian looking animals
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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