I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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