I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
