Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
