bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
