I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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