I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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