you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
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Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
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