Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
