that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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