I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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