I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
