I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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