At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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