Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
