New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
you never un-have a 4some
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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