I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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