Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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