I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
