Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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