id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
