My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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