New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize