Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
