I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
