a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
