I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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