i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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