turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
