its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
