Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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