There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
